Flower of Despair
by Windy Rein
Summary: That wasn't his idiot apprentice. His idiot apprentice was happy and would fight against the world if his friends would ask him. A one-shot for Circus of Night by TheAngelIsrafel, includes yaoi.


**Summary:** That wasn't his idiot apprentice. His idiot apprentice was happy and would fight against the world if his friends would ask him. (A one-shot for Circus of Night by TheAngelIsrafel)

**Warnings:** YAOI, Cross being overly emotional, Allen being slightly provocative and the only genre I can write imo: angst.

**Pairing(s):** Parental!CrossAllen with implied shouta(does that make it implied incest?? o.O) and VERY slightly implied Yullen.

**Rating:** T (o.O Do tell if I'm wrong.. :D)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own D.Gray-man or the universe I'm making this happen in. They belong to Hoshino Katsura and TheAngelIsrafel respectively.

**A/N:** I might say this here and now and be done with it, don't even bother if you haven't read **Circus of Night** by **TheAngelIsrafel**. And now that, that's out of the way...

Sorry, loves, this time I'm just borrowing a universe.

Most of all, **I'm SO sorry, Israfel!** I'm sorry for raping your universe. I'm sorry for the speculation here. I'm sorry for killing your Allen(figuratively speaking). The only thing I have to say in my defence is that I seriously couldn't think of any other place to fit the kink pairing in. And that's just pathetic... -sweatdrops- (Also as another useless try at defending me; I'm sick!! As in having a cold that's spreading through my brain!! at least it feels like it.. -.-)

On a random side note, what the hell's with me putting their conversations on train?? o.O

On a very random side note, I wrote this on the 26th straight after reading chap 7 "Ownership of the Damned" but then issues arose but I'm not going to bore you even more with my ramblings.. Let's just get on to the sotry!!

xxx

**Flower of Despair**

xxx

He was Flower. That's all he could remember ever being. He didn't remember his name being called ever, wasn't really even sure if this Allen was _his_ name at all. A brief thought of his gender possibly being something else crossed his mind but he didn't want to dwell on that.

The man had said he'd buy him.

But why? He didn't want him, didn't use him. Actually the man seemed frightened by the things he said he'd do. And the thing he kept repeating, _what's wrong with you?_ Why, why, why? He didn't understand.

Maybe he wasn't what the man, Master he reminded himself, wanted? But why buy him then?

xxx

He could see the jealousy in all of the others' eyes when he left. Ivonne looked between angry and happy. The boy and girl that were twins most likely had a melancholy smile on their lips with a pinch of bitterness thrown in to the mix. The woman embodying a dove was the most beautiful to his eyes but her eyes, they were filled with hatred. How could a pure white Dove of peace and innocence have eyes like that?

The man kept mumbling to himself. Things like _idiot apprentice, lost his memory, Komui'll better fix_ and _friends gonna have a fit_ were just some of the things he heard. He couldn't figure what the man meant with that or any of the things he said.

Maybe that's how they spoke outside?

xxx

Cross Marian had never met a situation he couldn't handle. This current one was very rapidly becoming that sort of situation. The kid had been an awful handful when he had picked him up for the _first_ time but that had been pretty easy to handle, the boy had been easy to make do what he wanted. This new version of his idiot apprentice wasn't that easy to handle. What had he ever done to God to get this amnesic boy, who thought everyone wanted him for one or other fetish of theirs, into his care?

The pause in his thoughts would've been ironic if it wasn't for the fact that he remembered having to drag the kid back to the Order. He almost slammed his palm onto his face.

Maybe he'd just dump him to the first Finder he can find.

xxx

Outside seemed so different. There were lots and lots of people there. Well, he had figured that already before. There never was the same costumer twice after all. But the thing that really puzzled him was how _normal_ they all seemed. Was this really what all of his customers were like during daylight? You couldn't even remotely guess what they would've wanted for him to do, except for the most obvious cases.

Then a startling thought hit him; maybe it wasn't the customers that were twisted and sick, maybe it was him.

xxx

It was when they were on the train that very same day that Cross noticed how silent Allen had become. He started observing the boy. His face was solemn and his eyes showed that his thoughts were turned inside to contemplate something. The spell on him hadn't been lifted and he had a suspicion the Circus Master, like she wanted to be called, had even made it stronger so that it wouldn't leave him ever.

The boy truly was a beautiful sight though the vines and leaves and sprouts made him seem that way in some grotesque manner that enticed one to explore the entirety of the boy's body after seeing a glimpse. What made his heart stop was the blossoming lotus. He knew that witch woman never put anything to her designs that didn't have some meaning and he knew only of one person that his idiot apprentice had met that could be connected with a lotus.

For some reason, that revelation made his heart break a little.

"Allen."

The boy flinched at his voice seemingly being pulled from his thoughts. The once gray eyes were filled with unshed tears. A piece of his heart fell off.

"Am I...somehow...sick...to you?" Allen's voice was filled with desperation. He had been expecting something, but this? Not in a million years. Two more pieces fell off, though they were small.

"No, you're not. You are what you are by the conditions forcing you to become that. That doesn't make you any sicker than any normal person." He was being kind. A once in a lifetime event, the idiot should be glad. But this boy couldn't be called even that. He had been conditioned into becoming a whore who filled every whim his customer may have. Cross couldn't call him an idiot; he knew he'd feel guilty afterwards. Even if he did call him that only in his thoughts.

"What about these...friends you keep speaking off? Do they know me or of me? Do they want to know me?" Some tears started falling from his eyes. The boy's breathing was also becoming more erratic by the minute. "Have I had friends in some life? What would they think of me? What, why, why, why, why, why??" So the boy had been thinking of his possible friends and what other people's reaction to him would be.

A melancholy smile rose on the General's lips.

The boy had fallen silent and seemed locked in his own little world. Then when the red head thought the kid had fallen asleep the petal-haired boy spoke.

"Please, just take me as Allen." Those beautiful eyes were filled with despair.

His heart shattered to millions of pieces with the first touch.

xxx

**A/N:** I'm evil, I know. -self-satisfied smirk-

Oh and by the way, see Israfel; I made the one shot now you HAVE to update faster -evil cackling- :D


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